Kick-Ass

Directed By - Matthew Vaughn

Starring:
Aaron Johnson
Chloe Moretz
Nicolas Cage
Christopher Mintz-Plasse


Plot: Dave Lizewski is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan who one day decides to become a super-hero, even though he has no powers, training or meaningful reason to do so.


Review:


Well this was certainly interesting.  Lets get to it.  Dave (Aaron Johnson) is just your regular high school kid.  Not cool enough to get the girl but has a solid group of friends around him.  Comic geeks for sure but also just barley existing in life. One day Dave decides that being invisible to people just is not enough.  It is time to take a stand and become something greater.  Disillusioned perhaps but with his heart in the right place he orders a costume and transforms himself into Kick-Ass. Only trouble is this is real life and he has no superpowers.  Not one to give up he heads out one day to stop crime on the streets.  Guess what?  That did not go so well for him.  Broken for sure but not down for the count, an undaunted Kick-Ass gets his big break by saving the day while some not so heroic kids video tape the proceedings.  Dave becomes a YouTube sensation and Kick-Ass is in business.  


Meanwhile...Two real possible superheroes Mindy Macready aka Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) and Damon Macready aka Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) a father and daughter team, take notice of Kick-Ass and decide to reach out to him.  This is where the story opens up as we start to find out that this team has some serious scores to settle.  They want to wipe out the thugs of one Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong) with the ultimate goal of taking him down.  Very violently.


Meanwhile...Dave is still the high school kid by day and in love with Katie (Lyndsy Fonseca) They grow very close to each other but the only problem is, for reasons I wont get into, she thinks he is gay.  She takes a strong interest in him because of not worrying about the threat of a relationship.  As they move along she is stricken with the thought that its a shame he is not available because they get along so well.  Ah but if she only knew!


Meanwhile...Frank has a son Chris (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) who Dad thinks can not handle the mafia side of things in The Family.  Trying to please but never gaining full trust and as Kick-Ass keeps getting headlines for taking down the empire, Chris gets the idea to befriend Kick-Ass to bring him down, thus unleashing his own alter ego Red Mist!

This movie was one wild and fun ride.  A comic book adaptation itself, Kick-Ass is funny, violent, touching and did I mention violent?  In the same vein as Kill Bill our hordes of characters slash and shoot and dismember people with perfect on screen glee.  In the beginning this is very much a spoof of superhero movies but it grows into the idea it was poking fun at in the first place.  There are moments of jaw dropping action which are followed by strong story development and extremely funny awkward situations.  The latter involving our main hero entering the room of Katie via the window to come clean about his intentions and feelings for her.  Set up as a beautiful moment ala the Peter Parker and Mary Jane connection, the perfect human side of what would really happen if you know, real people acted this way, comes through in amazing reality.  "Whats the difference between Spider-Man and Peter Parker?" Dave asks.  "Spider-Man gets the girl."  And it is there where our story is rooted.  The maybe false hope of true love in a young mans mind crossed with the need to make things right attached with every comic book fantasy he has ever known.


Much has been made about the performance of  Chloe Moretz.  Only 11 years old during the filming of this movie her character is required to do some very heavy lifting.  Curse words be damned as she skillfully destroys any enemy in her way. We are talking every offensive word in the dictionary.  While I can understand the concern of having such a young person act this way for a movie (and trust me there was some serious outrage) I found myself in awe of the entire movie and none of it affected me in the slightest.  I am not the moral police, leave that up to her parents.  Glad they did because Hit Girl was not only a break out role for the actress but also a highly entertaining spectacle in a movie filled with spectacles.  An early scene involving the hard way to learn how to take a bullet is particularly fascinating and brilliant.

In the end we all know where this will go.  Some fun twists along the way and things I did not see coming.  This movie gets serious but never loses its heart. The soundtrack is also excellent and serves as another character in the film.  I am purposely leaving out moments that just need to be seen if you are into this type of movie.  Trouble is it does not fit into any category.  One part spoof, one part Spider-Man, one part Quentin Tarantino, one part Death Wish, one part Superbad and all parts insane.  Excellent film, must see material.


"With no power, comes no responsibility. Except, that wasn't true."


4 Crowes out of 4

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)

Directed By - Samuel Bayer

Starring:
Jackie Earle Haley 
Rooney Mara
Thomas Dekker
A Bunch Of Other People You Wont Care About

Plot: The kids of Elm Street start having nightmares about the same man.  If you die in your dream you are dead for real.

Review:

"If Nancy doesn't wake up screaming, she wont wake up at all"

That was the original tag line for 1984's A Nightmare on Elm Street, written and directed by Wes Craven.  At its time the movie was one of the most original and truly scary horror films.  With Halloween and Friday the 13th already sucked into the remake machine of hell, Freddy was just there for the taking.  Problem is if you spent money on this thinking it would even be remotely as scary as the original then I am afraid you were the one taken. 

We all know the story.  The kids on Elm Street are having nightmares about a burned man with knives for fingers.  Dirty green and red sweater - check.  Fedora hat - check.  Razor blade glove - check. Soon enough one of them dies and the race against time is on.  The trick is to stay up as long as possible to figure out what is happening.  The parents don't believe them and one by one we say bye bye to the lot. 

I'm not going to waste much time on this.  I did not like it.  While a second screening did have me more involved in the story we still have the main thing holding back major studio horror films for the last 20 years.  Paper thin characters we just do not care about.  Slap together some b-list twenty-something hotties, add a dash of jump scares, remove all tension and presto!  Horror remake movie is done.  Only the whole thing was cooked from jump street. 

ooohhh Scary!

  

So our kids figure out that this man may or may not have violated them years ago and the parents took to vigilante justice.  Burning him alive, in one of the movies more effective scenes.  The big twist here was the story tried to make you think Freddy was innocent for a portion of the running time.  An admirable idea but it was very quickly discarded and good ole Freddy really is the monster he appears to be.  I would have used this idea earlier in the movie then use the truth when they did.  The people behind this said all along it was a re-imagining and not a true remake.  If this was the case who ever imagined this mess needs to find a dictionary.  It was a play by play of the original only extremly less entertaining.  Which leads me to the last thing I want to mention about this new A Nightmare On Elm Street...

They are practically giving you the finger!

Yep, I will never understand this one.  Unlike other horror icons who can hide behind masks, Freddy Kruger was played by Robert England, no mask just great make-up and voice.  Robert became Freddy.  Replacing him was a huge mistake.  I have nothing against Jackie Earle Haley its just too iconic of a role for an audience of people, many who have been with this franchise for 25 years, to go and make this change.  I understand the filmmakers wanting to put there own stamp on the proceedings but Robert would have upped the fear factor in an otherwise fright-less 95 minutes. 

Being part of the 'Big Three' of horror icons so many have grown up with I feel I should note this.  The Halloween remake took a chance to be different and while many did not like the outcome I commend Rob Zombie for the efforts, it was not a brainless hack job.  Friday the 13th is too hard to screw up.  Put a hockey mask on a guy, give him a machete and away we go.  Nightmare was always a bit different.  Surreal in nature and not sure what was true or a dream and finding out that the dream is a deadly reality. (huh?)

So the remake train keeps going and in its path there has been many more losers than winners.  A Nightmare On Elm Street 2010 takes a masterful film and forgets what made it so damn good in the first place.  These filmmakers think they can bankroll a big name property with nameless kids, yes-men directors and meandering stories built off of people who once cared about the genre.  All they want is a big box office opening weekend and it will rent like crazy.  A Nightmare On Elm Street 2010 did just that but it will be forgotten just as quick.  Go watch the original to see how it is really done. 

1 Crowe out of 4